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Sean squints into the lights, retinas burning. He wonders if it will blind him. Better blind that staring at the two men - well, one man and one boy - as they laugh over a shared joke. It's great that they all get on so well, just, he doesn't want those two getting on *that* well.
Elijah is standing close to Andy. Heads together, natural curls against hobbit curls. Sean watches Elijah throw his head back and laugh. Andy touches the back of Elijah's hand and leans in, whispers in his ear. Sean looks around for someone to talk to. Wanders over to Peter and discusses character motivation, ignores the giggling from behind him.
Later in the canteen, the three of them sit together working through the scene. Sean must fight with Andy - no, Gollum - then Frodo comes to his rescue. Sean is looking forward to this, looking forward to wrestling Andy - sorry, Gollum - to the ground, and beating him back. Of course, in the scene, Gollum gets the upper hand until Frodo draws Sting. But Sean can dream.
The scene is played out and ends with Andy staring at Sean in confusion, and Elijah glaring. Peter takes Sean aside and asks if anything is wrong. Nothing. No, Peter. Everything's fine. Elijah doesn't speak to Sean at the end of the days shooting and walks away, arm brushing against Andy as they enter the trailer to remove makeup and costume.
Later, when he is home with Christine, curled up on the sofa, she asks about his day. Oh, same old, same old, he replies. She cradles his face and asks again. He tells her about Elijah and Andy, making it light and frothy for marital consumption. Christine listens, stroking his face with gentle fingers. When she kisses him, her kisses taste of understanding and forgiveness.
Days later, he interrupts roving hands and eager mouths. Elijah's hands grip dark curls as Andy bites soft, puppy skin; licks pale, baby flesh. Elijah is a baby, Sean knows this and feels angry for Andy's corrupting influence. Wants to call Andy out and lecture him. Instead he just yells at them; berates them for their insensitivity and reckless abandon. When Elijah catches up with him at the car, Sean is distant and angry. Elijah holds him when he cries, not knowing what is it for, not knowing why Sean is distressed. Wants to know if there are problems at home, if everything with Christine is okay. Sean shakes his head, blinks back tears and smiles ruefully. Tells about tiredness and homesickness, tells about upheaval, about Christine and Alexandra missing home. Tells everything except the truth.
Elijah wants to tell about infatuation and lust, about nights of shared passion. Sean begs off and hugs him goodbye, drives off feeling sick and angry. Angry for being stupid. Angry for being irrational. Angry for being confused.
At night he holds his wife and doesn't imagine another body. Doesn't imagine bitten down nails caressing his skin. Doesn't imagine gap-toothed kisses. Doesn't imagine youthful vigour. Doesn't imagine hard muscle and hard cocks. Nestles into downy flesh. Licks hard nipples and strokes soft breasts. Dips his head between fleshy thighs and tastes the saltiness of his wife on his tongue. Hears sighs and moans and tries to feel content.